180 days as a teacher

Well, Saturday night, 9PM, the kids are finally in bed, the main floor has gone from major mess to "you can walk around in the dark without tripping over anything dangerous" and I still have a little bit of energy despite Christine being up since 4:30AM some 16.5 hours ago. She gives a whole new meaning to the "early bird" - and I envy my friends whose kids get up between 8:00 and 9:00AM without any chemical/pharmacological intervention on their part.

So I'm thinking that I should tackle my first pile of tests - I know the girls did well in the test - it was an easy one and since they participated so well in class, they did most of their learning without even knowing. That's my goal - I want them to walk out of each class with some of the new material embedded in their brain. It makes studying easier later, AND they'll like my subjects (because the effort required is minimal).

I go through my pencil case, and find NO RED PEN.
Search the desk drawers, kitchen counters, family room nooks and crannies, and emptied the school supply bin, NO RED PEN.
I am so desperate at this point for the red pen that I enter a live minefield (ie my son's room) without turning the lights on because he's finally sleeping, and I grab all the pens I can get my hands on - NO RED PEN.

Now if there is a SINGLE, BASIC tool any and all real teachers have, it has got to be the red pen. I don't remember ever getting a test back that wasn't corrected in RED. And I went to school for a total of 21 years...

It's the universal color of knowledge retribution.

The color that makes results official.

The color that EVERY SINGLE TEACHER MUST HAVE.
When you apply for a Bachelor of Education program, you must check a special box and swear you will always have a red pen within reach. Those who don't check the box cannot enter the program. Just like the "I swear I am at least 18 years old" button on the porn websites. It's a failsafe - those that aren't 18 or over are never able to enter - and students that don't check the red pen box can't become teachers. I'm just that special case that fell through the cracks (no to worry, that never happens with the porn websites...).

And here I am walking all over the house frantically looking for one red pen.
It's now 9:23PM, my search for a pen has ended, and with it my desire to correct these tests. The closest I come to red is some fancy PINK. I doodle with it for a few minutes on a old envelope and decide I can't correct with pink. Who will take it seriously, really? Not me...

And so ends my first evening of correction - having to acknowledge that I am lacking the most basic of tools.